I have to cancel tonight.

I have no choice. I want to update the site tonight and if I do the show I am not going to get around to doing that. Also I am just extremely stressed out. I just wrote a long blog entry that I will be posting on artschoolslut.com after this for you to read so you will understand fully. I may post it here as well just to make it easier for you.

I really don't want you guys to lose faith in my but I really shouldn't have tried to come back to doing my daily members shows so soon after the stroke in the first place. But since I have I am just going to try to take it easy when I feel like I should. The doctor today said that over stressing myself of having something as little as a panic attack, (which I did have right before leaving to do to see the doctor) could cause a blood clot to burst in my brain and cause me to hemorrhage in my brain and possibly kill me. So I mean this is just what I have to do. But it does suck because I want to give you ALL of me ALL the time! Does that make sense?

Anyways. Tonight's show is off but I will be back tomorrow for sure without any issues because I have no appointments to stress me out like today's appointment did.

Hopefully this will mean I will get caught up a little tonight and tomorrow! Also I am thinking about doing my members show on Thursday and not going to my Grandma's for Thanksgiving dinner. I know that sounds shitty but because of her taking me to these appointments almost daily I never have time to myself. I'd really like to get some shit done that day instead of stuffing myself with food I don't even like. Are any of you guys going to be home to see that show if I stay here and do it? Let me know and if you guys aren't going to be there I'll cancel it and just take it as a vacation day.

Jess