Content Info Stuff & Weight Loss Progress

Okay so we're approaching the time when I said I'd start making updates again. I said I'd begin making content again when I lost 21 lbs & got down to 140lbs. That's halfway to my ultimate weight goal which is 120lbs. I'm really excited about this but I'm also scared it will become super overwhelming again & I don't want to have another breakdown. I certainly can't make content as often as I used to which was something like 2-3 videos per week. That will NEVER happen again. I'm just being real with you. That was WAY too much pressure because I put a LOT of work into my content. From getting ready, setting up lights and taking test shots... That's already 2-4hrs of work right there preparing to shoot a video that will most likely be edited down to 5-10 minutes. Then shooting takes about an hour and a half because I reshoot the same things over and over to make sure I get the shots I want to work with when editing. Editing an average video takes about 2 hours and then a full day to render when I shoot in a high quality format which is what I've been doing for the last year or 2 I was making videos. As you can see, there's just not enough time in the week to make 3 masterpieces anymore especially because I'm no longer on Adderall, my ADHD medication, which is basically pharmaceutical methamphetamine.

I will only ever be doing one video every 2 weeks from now on for the rest of my life because I am finally accepting that's all I can handle without pulling my hair or or gouging my eyes out. However I will be doing MORE than that. I wanted to write this blog to let y'all know what it is that I plan to do! I will be doing updates on weekends for the most part. On Saturdays I will alternate between doing a written blog post or a video blog post & on Sundays I will be doing either a photo set update or a video update. So basically it will be a video blog & a photoset update one week and then a written blog post (with pictures candid pictures!) & a sexy video update the next week. On top of this I will be doing HD member shows again on top of my 3 a week I do now. So There will be 4 member shows a week and the HD show will again be archived! So in all there will be 3 updates weekly just like before but they will be alternated so I can actually do a wider variety of things to entertain y'all! Let me know what you think of this approach?

On top of going off of my Adderall last year when I stopped being able to function enough to keep making content I was gearing up for a complete breakdown anyways because I had been WAY over working myself. As I've outlined above I'm obviously not planning on doing that to myself ever again but another thing that was slowly taking it's tole on me was trying to please everyone. I will continue to take member video requests but I want to be clear that they will be done in the order that they are received (I'm completely starting over with this. I had a few I still needed to do last year but I lost the memory of my old ipod which is where I was keeping the list of videos to make & I just don't want to overwhelm myself with having too many things to do when I'm just getting restarted), also the urgency of the video you've requested to be made is based on how much extra effort you've put into me as a person. This is MORE THAN fair in my opinion. If you send me wishlist gifts all the time and are there for me when I need to talk and you're truly my friend you're going to get your video made before anyone else that I hardly talk to. If you haven't provided what I need for your video request and/or haven't ever sent me anything from my wishlist as a tip for working so hard for you on my site then you might as well not request a video made specifically for you unless of course you plan on doing the above in order to put your video request into my queue. I will keep a physical list of requests so you can see how many are in the queue at a given time if you choose to.

I'd also like to point out that I don't EXPECT every member to go over the top and send me tons of gifts by any means. You're already on my side because you've taken your hard earned money to join my site and I endlessly appreciate that! However if you want me to go above and beyond for you by making a custom video to your liking for the site then I do expect you to go above and beyond for me. If that's not your thing, cool! Just sit back and enjoy the site as is! I have hundreds of videos so I'm positive you'll find hours of entertainment without putting in any special specific requests for videos or photo sets.

So I guess it's time to talk about my weight loss progress. Womp, womp... About 3 weeks ago I was down to 148 from 161lbs. That was a really huge accomplishment for me! However about a week and a half ago I suddenly went from 148 up to 151. I was extremely upset because I had been working so damned hard to be down to 148 (as you've probably noticed from my facebook/twitter updates) so gaining back 3 lbs after I hadn't done anything to warrant that really sabotaged my confidence. So for about the last week and a half I've almost completely given up on my diet that had been working for me and I just checked the scale and I'm back up to 155lbs because of my stupid negative actions. :(

I am planning on starting the Candida diet/cleanse tomorrow though. This is almost how I was eating when I first started my cleanse about a month ago so it won't be the hardest thing in the world but it is super strict. On my other cleanse I could have dark chocolate & wine sometimes. I won't be able to drink any wine while I'm on the candida program or have any sweets or even fruit! I plan on doing this for at least a full month if not 2 months. I'm excited to be starting this on the 1^st of April because I'll be able to measure my progress easier that way and see how long I have still to go...

The reason I want to do the candida cleanse specifically is due to the crazy sugar & alcohol cravings I had while doing the Detox 4 Women cleanse this last month. After reading some info I am convinced that I may have had a candida problem since I was a little kid. I was pumped full of antibiotics during my whole childhood to the point of them basically not really working for me today. When I get sick I'm just fucked because antibiotics don't work for me. I have to get the strongest kind my doctor can offer and then they make me so ill it makes it hardly even worth it. So yeah, I'm hoping this cleanse helps with stuff like that as well as my fatigue and depression. I've had some serious issues with fatigue this last week since I started eating sugary things again and I think it might have something to do with bringing back some of the candida that my body was trying to starve off with the Detox 4 Women cleanse. All signs point to Candida. Even my adviser at http://TrueHope.com thinks that I have a candida problem that might be keeping me from absorbing the vitamins I take from them.

If you're interested in learning more about this strict diet/cleanse please check this link out: http://www.thecandidadiet.com/what-to-eat-during-cleanse.htm

Okay I'll leave y'all with a few phone pictures I took of myself when I was at 148lbs. Now that I'm back up to 155lbs I have 15 lbs to lose before I reach 140lbs when I'll be making content again so if you want more content ASAP PLEASE help me with my goals!

http://amzn.com/w/2WGZJQ7KX83W8 Everything helps!